8th (2013)

"Breaking Brown"

I'm mailing this one in boys. Sorry. I spent much more time than I wanted to on the nuts and bolts of the site earlier this week, updating Bogeys & Beer, and also editing the vids. At this point, I just want to be done with all this! 

Long story short, Ryan fucking won again. This is his third win in four years. The guy is nothing but dominance. He'll try to tell you, "Yeah, but I always win on the last hole." So, what you're trying to tell us Mr Porter, is that when the game is on the line, and a clutch performance is needed, you will win the hole? Yeah, well that's also a sort of the symptom of being too damn good. You sir, are clutch. Period.

At any rate, it's all good. Baseball needs the Yankees, and we need Porter. Though, from now on, he and other high caliber golfers will be handicapped more severely (though none as much as Porter). The secret to this comp, is parity. Everyone must have a decent chance of being elevated to October Hall, be it star or scrub.

I find it interesting that all three groups were tied at the end of the first round. That is crazy. I did not see that coming. In the future, I will have to remedy this (see homepage, rules). We can not experience mild loggerheads again with the multiple ties. It was so crazy, that there was a point where all 13 of us were gathered around one hole awaiting three different results.

The Brown Round this year consisted of 3 newcomers (Denis, Brian, and Dustin) and 1 veteran, Ryan (St. October). I am pleased that the Brown Round seems to be made up of different guys every year. That sort of shows that my system works. Any guy should have a chance of winning, year in and year out.

I wasn't able to witness everything during the Brown Round, but I did notice that it did come down to a final putt this year (it seems to every year, doesn't it?) so that was exciting. 

And since Ryan made the last winning putt, he clinched his third jacket in four years. He is nothing less than dominance personified.

Notes & Quotes

-It seemed like half the guys this year were competing for the the Bill Murray Award Award. That meant too many guys for our normal system of "clap for you think should win". So, we had the girl behind the bar choose. Poor John B was immediately out because the she had never seen Breaking Bad (what the hell is wrong with her?!!). Then, she really wasn't into Phil's haircut, so he was out. I thought I might be in because she said she did like primates (I was a gorilla), but then decided that she liked plaid more. So, she chose Johnny for this year's BMA. Oh, and as for Porter and his hockey gear, she told him, "You would normally wear that stuff anyway, so it's not really special". Solomon could not have been wiser...

-During the first 5 minutes of the event, Dustin went to the ball machine to get balls. He forgot to put a basket under the ball chute, and when he pressed the "ball" button, they started shooting all over the place. I laughed so hard, and told him, "You got to be kidding me!" That had to be the greatest start ever to the October Classic. While I don't like Mr. Bean, I did find that scene to be very Bean-like, AND yet, funny.

-I wasn't paying too much attention to words this year, so I have a unusual lack of great quotes (if you guys think of any, message me, and I'll include them). But one of crazier things that I did hear, went something like this: while all of us were watching two guys complete their chip-off, somebody asked where the golf carts were. The "answer" to the question, was the very drunken mumbling and totally non-sequitur comment of, "I like porn". 

-Phil broke his expensive hybrid during his chip-off. Brutal.

-I not once, but TWICE ran into the sliding doors at the clubhouse. They're divided in a way, that you may think that the doors are open, but they're actually not. I felt rather stupid the first time I bumped into the glass, kind of like a sick bird flying into a closed window, but then I felt absolutely retarded the SECOND time I did it--only one hour later. If only it has been filmed..

So that's about it. Not the best write up, but I'll let the pics, vids, and your own memories fill in the blanks at this point.

I've posted just a few pics here, the rest can be found on my flickr. Follow the link.



Embed gadget

Clip of the First Drive. It should be noted, that most of the volume of the actual clip is 
off during the clip, so in the end, it sort of looks like the guys are being eerily quiet: they're actually not. 
They're yelling and screaming like respect-able adults.

Embed gadget



2013 Brown Round

Bill Murray Award candidates 

8th October Classic

Ryan Porter, the 8th Octoberman!